The most important 9 first year of marriage difficulties
First year of marriage, every couple faces many problems and crises, related to the clash of customs and ideas, which appear in everyday life and direct contact in the smallest details. Therefore, marital relations experts always confirm that the first years of marriage are the most difficult years for every couple, as each of them is still in the process of marriage. A process of discovering the other, and therefore every couple is always exposed to many conflicts in the first year of marriage, no matter how much the couple is in love and married after a love story.
Husband’s family in the first year of marriage
Dealing with the husband’s family represents a psychological burden on the wife, especially if there is a radical intellectual difference in the way of raising customs and traditions, and there are often many quarrels, which affect the entire marital life.
The solution
The best way to deal with this problem is for the wife to try to get to know the way her husband’s family thinks, follow their way of life, try to adapt, and avoid clashing with them as much as possible.
Miss-understanding
Couples often hide their true feelings about certain things, in order to avoid fights at the beginning of a new married life, and this often leads to assuming some things, and misunderstandings, which gradually leads to a lot of marital fights, which may worsen over time, and with them not being resolved. First and foremost.
The solution
“Honesty and frankness” are the only solution to confront this problem. Confrontation and frankness must be done first and foremost, so that we do not reach the stage of explosion after the accumulations.
Having children
Spouses often fight over the issue of having children, and whether or not to postpone this step.
The solution
Parenting is not an easy task, so this step must be decided before marriage, and the appropriate time to welcome children must be determined once and for all during the engagement period.
Financial matters in the first year of marriage
After marriage, the spouses bear the expenses of living, managing the house and its expenses, and these financial issues are often the subject of dispute and disagreement, regarding what they should buy and what is not necessary now, and setting the budget.
The solution
It is necessary to determine a budget for the home, and divide it into items that specify monthly expenses, expenditures, and obligations. The budget must not be devoid of an item for entertainment, an item for unexpected circumstances, a section for the husband’s personal expenses, and a section for the wife’s personal expenses.
A different lifestyle
Before marriage, each of the spouses is in the family’s home and does not bear the responsibilities of the home and its details, such as washing, cooking, and arranging the house for the wife, or buying household supplies, and bearing responsibility for any damages or repairs and paying bills for the husband. This different way of life often creates quarrels due to the negligence of one party in his obligations.
The solution
The solution lies in making a list of tasks and dividing them equally between the spouses, and each of them helping the other accomplish his tasks when he feels tired or even bored, as marital life is based on sharing.
The first year of marriage is like walking in a minefield!
The first year of marriage is characterized by sudden, unexpected and unexpected explosions of disagreements and problems. Even couples who spent a long period of time together before marriage will not know enough about each other to avoid these sudden conflicts, which mainly result from the interference of personal life with shared life, and the spouses participate in every Everything from bed to food, the use of household items, and other normal activities, in addition to sharing their fate. These disputes sometimes resemble quarrels between university dormitory students!
The solution
If we agree that the first year of marriage is a minefield; It is therefore necessary to act wisely by exploring the new life calmly, and we advise that the spouses ask each other before acting individually, even on the simplest matters. Inviting the family to dinner without consulting the wife may be a cause of conflict, and even buying new cups may be a cause of conflict between the spouses during the first year.
Feelings of regret about marriage
Feelings of regret about marriage may be a natural feeling in all modern marriages. Feelings of regret result from losing a great deal of freedom, feeling disappointed as a result of high expectations, and the inability to properly deal with the problems of the first year of marriage.
The solution
In the first place, feelings of regret about marriage must be accepted and understood, and the partner should not be blamed or held responsible for these feelings. In many cases, feelings of regret about marriage should not even be declared. Managing daily problems at the beginning of marriage also constitutes a decisive factor in controlling feelings of regret.
Problems with childbearing in the first year of marriage
The decision to have children is one of the most complex issues in the first year of marriage, whether there is a conflict in the desire to have children between the spouses, or the spouses have an unintended and unwanted pregnancy, and the abortion conflict or the exchange of blame begins.
The solution
We do not generally recommend having children in the first year of marriage, as the spouses must leave enough opportunity to adapt to their new lives, but the most important thing is that childbearing be a joint, planned decision, and not a coincidence or a trick, and it must be emphasized that it is necessary to agree on methods of contraception in the event of a decision. Not having children and taking the necessary precautions to postpone childbirth.
Infidelity at the beginning of marriage
Some people may not think of marital infidelity as one of the problems of the first year of marriage, but in fact there is what is called the “seventh month freak” where most couples suffer from conflicting feelings of boredom, remorse, and comparing their partner to others, which may push them to betray or think about betrayal.
The solution
It is not possible to talk about simple solutions to infidelity at the beginning of marriage because they are not linked to a long history between the spouses that needs to be reviewed and treated. Infidelity in the first year of marriage is often a negative indicator of the future of the relationship, especially if emotional infidelity goes beyond physical infidelity or an entire relationship outside of marriage.
